Monday, June 23, 2014

Erin Andrews: Queen of the Awkward Kiss

     Yikes EA! Forced doesn't even begin to describe how awkward this smooch is! Can we just take a minute out of our stressful lives and marvel at this catastrophe.
     First of all, kissing someone with shades on is a HUGE mistake. You know how easy it is to ruin a romantic moment with sunglasses on?? EA doesn't exactly have a cute button nose, and once you hit the shades into an awkward tilt with that honker the romanticism turns to uncomfortableness real quick. High Risk, Low Reward scenario we've got here, some real risky business.

     Secondly, why the hell are they so far apart?! This is the cup we're talking about, not a tree stump! I seriously can't tell if EA is helping or hurting the cause with that awkward hand positioning. And I'm not talking about the left hand either, I'm looking at that right shoulder grab. My God, you might as well keep it behind your back! And how about the poor single guy lurking in the background just smiling his dignity away. Dudes don't smile when their friends kiss their girlfriends, that's just a fact of life. Either he was paid off, or has seen EA's peephole video and has been smirking like that all day.

     Lastly, you got it, the scrunched up pucker. GROSSS!! This is a classic "Hey lets kiss with the Cup and look cute for all my friends" picture that just turned out like shit. Every girl does this so other girls can get jealous of their boyfriends and their great relationship or some crap. I see your games you hawk, but how about a re-take next time instead of instantly making 2 million followers want to give themselves the old Clockwork Orange treatment?!


P.S. If you didn't think this was entertaining, just go check out Jarret Stolls stats.

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