Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Will Middlebrooks: The Red Sox Canker Sore

     Is this the man who has brought the Sox back down to mediocrity? Not quite, but he should be front and center as Boston's most hated athlete right now. 'But Skard, he's an up and coming prospect, just give him time.' Are you shitting me? What's there to like about this twig? He gets hurt if the breeze is too strong. 'Dude, he's got so much power though.' Power? Wily Mo Peña had power too, and I'm pretty sure he made me a sub last week. When Sox fans are reminiscing about when you hit .227, I'd say its time to hit the cage and maybe make some adjustments. And has anyone checked out his Wins Above Replacement (WAR)? Last year he had a WAR of -0.1 and this year it is -0.2. In case anyone was wondering how impressive that is, here's a quick chart provided by fangraphs.com:

     So besides the fact he's a terrible fielder, has a sub .200 average, is soft as butter, and forced the Sox to re-sign Stephen fuggin Drew, what else is there to hate about him? How about his most egregious act to date?!?  Do people remember that brunette bombshell sideline reporter who used to make your toes curl? This chick...

     Ya, Middlebrooks is responsible for taking her out of our lives as well. He could've chosen any other bimbo in the city after that hound Seguin left, but nope, its gotta be Jenny. Hey Billy, if you happen to be a Binger, do us all a favor and pack your things, Cecchini is the new darling of the Sox future. Get your rat looking face out of our city, you're toast.

*As I wrote this NESN did a segment on how long it takes Gary Striewski to do his hair...Fuggin' Middlebrooks...

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