Wednesday, April 30, 2014

New Clippers Owner: Oprah or Mayweather

This is a blog solely based on speculation.

     Now with that out of the way, I am having trouble figuring out who would be worse for the NBA's image as the next Clippers owner, Mayweather or Oprah. Donald Sterling is no doubt a bigot with deplorable views on equality for all races. That's all I want to say about him because he's dead to the world and the Binge is above him. (That's right, the SportBinge, a blog with more grammatical errors than a foreign exchange students english essay, is above a guy worth an estimated $2 billion. A momentous day for us) Making 'the owner' leave the NBA and sell his team is certainly addition by subtraction. But can we have subtraction by addition in this situation? Because that's what we're facing with Oprah and Floyd 'Money' Mayweather bidding on this franchise. Let me break it down for you.

 Mayweather:  'The owner' said some terrible things and deserves to be kicked out, but if saying something bad gets you kicked out, then how on God's green Earth are you going to allow a serial gambler and convicted felon to bid for a team?? This would make the NBA a laughing stock among other leagues for their blatant hypocrisy. It would be Silver saying "Racists have no place in the league, but we're cool with women beaters." This meathead has little man syndrome coupled with an ego that can compete with Yeezy's. This sassy nugget gambles on more games than Ace Rothstein. This nincompoop doesn't even care about what 'the owner' said because he gave him a lollipop once.* If Silver even considers 'Moneys' bid then he comprises the integrity of the league and it effectively become the WWE of the sports world**

Oprah Winfrey: Ahh, this frumpy dumpling again. A racially stirred controversy arises and here's Oprah to come save the day. That's all well and good, I have nothing against this lonely warthog, but here's a question for you, how many pictures can you find on the internet of Oprah at a basketball game? Having trouble? How about Oprah with a basketball, even in the background? So you're probably questioning her passion for the game. Well I'm here to tell you not to fret, because she endorsed a sports bra back in 2008 with multi-layered jugs control, so needless to say she's qualified. Now this is all speculation but if there is one person who would force the first female basketball player in the NBA down our delicate throats, it's going to be this pioneer. Give me as many gay players UMass can populate in the NBA, but keep the xx chromosomes in their own league. With Opie running the show, the news after the games won't be who won or lost, it'll be how many people got The Secret Life of Bees as a free giveaway. Makes me cringe.

     Personally I'm hoping Jordan lets his nuts hang and buys the team because he has the credibility and the benjamins to do it. He's someone the players can get behind and the fans would adore. Plus it would be another thing he could brag about over Lebron which I'm all for. Just keep away the muscle hamster and that old puffer fish.

*Sterling told Mayweather to sit next to him at a game, apparently that's all you need to do to win over that simpleton
**Let's be honest, I don't think any of us would be too against the WWE NBA idea, could spice things up a bit

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